Since 2009 begun, I was unsure about what I could expect from this year. I started 2009 drowning myself into such an enormous depression, trying to forget certain bad actions, wrong choices, painful mistakes.
I recall that, early March, I decided to leave the reality I was living to immerse myself into this fucking amazing surreal world that Placebo seems to be offering me. And all became about Placebo without any doubt.
Placebo has been ruling my life since 1998, eleven years of fidelity, but wasn’t able to really enjoy my passion until a very special moment, a critic one… until I decided to finally fight for what I believe and mostly, for what I truly love from the bottom of my heart.
It was then when 2009 suddenly turned into this beautiful bunch of dreamy promises… I was finally enjoying the things I really loved, the ones I still love and, I’m pretty sure, the ones I’ll love for the rest of my life… I was finally enjoying myself.
To be honest, it doesn’t hurt me… leave the real world I mean… it doesn’t annoyed me at all… “I was alone, falling free, trying my best not to forget”... but, to be honest, there was a time when I prayed to forget… forget the pain, the discrimination, the indifference.
That’s how, without even noticing, 2009 acquired a truly importance for me. I didn’t imagine at that time that 2009 will become a year that I will remember for the rest of my life. I met a lot of beautiful people… people who I consider the most caring and the most authentic on Earth. I learned what a real friendship is. I fell in love… yes… I loved again… even when it got wrong at the end… the important thing, I guess, is that I tried.
2009 will be a year to remember… It gifted me the most amazing experiences in life! It suddenly brought me from death and showed me that I actually have a beautiful painting in front of me called life. 2009 showed me that I needed to live for real, faithful to my beliefs no matter what.
2009 will be a year to remember because it pointed me that I certainly can make my own dreams come true whenever I want. It was the year that brought me the biggest excitement since… since I remember to be honest… the one I had been dreaming about for so long: Placebo.
I finally knew my favorite band on Earth on 2009... Isn’t that fucking amazing?
I was finally able to see him, the man who has been ruling my dreams -eyes opened or closed- since I was a teeny… I finally meet my idol, my love, my everything: Mr. Brian Molko.
I know it sounds completely out of line… completely crazy coming from an grown woman like me but, you know? I do not care if some people think that is silly, I really couldn’t care less… I finally learned that I must accept myself as the unique persona I am -weirdo or not… freak or not-, I’m finally achieving my most beloved dreams.
Placebo teaches me, every single day, that I must love the way I am, with all my flaws, my weakness… even when my almost bipolar behavior.
2009 was the year that let me knew a bunch of charismatic people. I suddenly wasn’t alone anymore! After the all lack of trust in my dairy relationships -love or friendship without distinction-, I was finally able to trust and to entirely give myself to this beautiful people, without any regrets! That… that is priceless.
2009 will be a year to remember cause to same, I have inked in my heart all those beautiful memories from El Palacio de los Deportes. All the excitement, the anxiety, the tiredness, but also the amazing friends I made that unforgettable day.
2009 left inked in heart and soul all those amazing memories from Europe, the tears, the laughs, even the angry and also the uncertain moments. This year showed me that distance is certainly not a barrier for friendship.
2009 gave me the most precious moments I have been able to experience since I was a child… 2009 gave me the chance to freely enjoy every single moment I’m breathing.
So, today, I feel a little bit sad because I have to say goodbye to this wonderful and meaningful year… I can’t avoid the nostalgia… 2009 was, without a doubt, a magnificent year for me and the best of all, I think, is that I didn’t even image that it could turn into this amazing year... Damn! I don’t want to let 2009 go.
2009 WILL BE A YEAR TO REMEMBER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After all these 365 days, even when the nostalgia is eating me up, I feel hopeful and willing and, I know, I already know that 2010 will be even better.
Thanks to every one of you for helping me to come back from the ashes… Now I’m sure that there’s a special place for me to be… I finally belong to somewhere.
I’LL BE ENDLESSLY IN DEBT WITH 2009
Peace & Love,