Lady Of The Flowers


The day is over and the feeling is still all through my body… reaching the heart, catching the soul… Without a doubt one of the most beautiful days in my life, cause, even when I thought it could be a disaster, the reality, the pictures outside the mirror, was pretty different.

I wish I could feel that particular sentiment -peace- all the time… I wish I could have the will in order to fighting for be just fine… But I know my nature, I know my essence and, because of that, I know that will be almost impossible… however… that doesn’t mean this doll, this “Barbie” doesn’t have the intention to do it, to reach the goal, to achieve success.

It’s hard to state how Barbie does feel today… It’s kind of weird and surreal… But the fact is that, at the end of her birthday, she came home, laid on bed and was thankful for the thing she actually have … the ones she can see, she can sense, she can touch.

And it’s hard to describe the frustration… the stupid frustration of “doing nothing with her life” when is pretty obvious that to third parties’ eyes, she has already achieved some illusions in her way…

30 years that seem to be quite complicated… How much does Barbie miss the old times… all those afternoons by his father side… all those morning playing with her brother… all those evenings arguing with her mother… Now… all those years seem surreal… surreal and far… just like a memory, no more… and now life is so much complicated… too much sometimes… It’s hard for Barbie to recognize the “good” and the “bad” point about her behavior… her choices… her way…

Wishing to be so far away from here… wishing to disappear from the actual community and just be just… she… In fact, she would love to live her life under her own and very particular principles… just inside her happy and shinny bubble… being away from harm, from lies, from reality…

And she swears is not she is depressed or something… not at least today… is just the need to be understood, loved…. NOTICED… Is the necessity to do something different and still be Barbie.

But Barbie just feels that something has beaten her out and left her down to the field … she can't help but cry...

Comments

Nancy Molko Boy said…
you are in between...the most complicated side of the situations the one where you really want to say fuck you to everything..or probably no
however you're very aware of what you got in between, what is very useful to make a desicion.
those memories will last forever cause are really precious moments, this "dark" times you're having will fade away and only will be part of the process to achieve great happiness...
:)
Thank you babe! The fact someone like you care about how I feel, is priceless and as weird it may seems, the words give me the will and strenght to go forward... to fight...

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